Arrow: The Slow-Warming Engine Goes Cold

Blackest Night. Brightest Day. Aquaman. Batman: Earth One. Justice League. These are all works that Geoff Johns, writer of the ‘Arrow’ episode “Muse of Fire”, is associated with these days. So, it went without saying that I was very eager to see his words at work on a show like Arrow. For goodness sake, someone had to bring this boring train ride back from the brink, right?

Nope.

The whole purpose of this episode was to tie up all the story arcs into one story. Johns was tasked with making The Well-Dressed Man’s character relevant to the Queen family, driving Merlyn into the direction of his eventual bow-wielding self, and to introduce The Huntress. Even though he did that well, in typical Geoff Johns form, the whole concept of the show and how bland that concept is still made it’s way through, surpassing the beautiful dialogue and storytelling that Johns is known for best.

It’s no secret that I’ve had some problems with this show from the beginning. Often boring dialogue. Half-assed acting. Mandatory action in every episode. If it weren’t for the lack of superhero shows on television, I could see this show getting canned. But, thanks to a “beggers can’t be choosers” mentality, the show has lasted.

The most important task of this episode was to introduce The Huntress, a character I know little to nothing about. But, I do know that her name is Helena Bertinelli, and she is hunting her father’s fellow mobsters in retaliation for the death of her fiancee. This mixture of beauty and ass-kickery (yeah, I made up that word) turns Oliver Queen on, so much so that he reveals to her that he is the vigilante Arrow.

And, all this on the first date, too!

As I’ve stated before, I feel that the writers on the show attempt to shove too many characters into the story at one time. We are only eight episodes in and we’ve already seen China White, Deadshot, Deathstroke, the Royal Flush Gang, the Huntress, and a little taste of the Black Canary in the “Lone Gunman” episode. Of those, both Deadshot and most of the Royal Flush Gang are dead. Already. Eight episodes in. Perhaps that’s the downfall of your character being a murderous Batman with a bow? And how he was able to best one of the world’s greatest assassins, Deadshot, I’ll never know.

Yeah, I used to be like you. All piss and vinegar. But, that was before I took an arrow to the eye. Accidentally, of course.

Yeah, I used to be like you. All piss and vinegar. But, that was before I took an arrow to the eye. Accidentally, of course.

Seeing that I am still fairly new to comics, I find myself having a hard time figuring out who characters are and where they tie in to everything. As in the case of the Royal Flush Gang, I thought, “Okay, they have hockey masks with various playing card characters on them. So, they are feeling lucky?” Or, in the case of China White, “She is an Asian lady with white hair. Well, she should be easy to spot in the dark. But, what’s her name?”

Stereotypically, she looks Chinese. She has white hair. China… White… Should have know.

It is quite unfortunate that I watch this show every week and spend 40 of the 60 minutes of it on my Facebook or Twitter. I am just going through the motions at this point. Hell, I was going through the motions with J.J. Abrams’ NBC action-drama Revolution, too, but it is turning out to be somewhat interesting now. I thought of Revolution as an old motor: it just took a while to warm up. But, to me, Arrow is nothing more than a rusted engine sitting in a field, all gummed up and devoid of life.

But, with all that being said, I will be here for the long haul, bitching and complaining all the way. I will give the show until season two (if it gets one) before I completely wash my hands of it. Who knows, though. Perhaps the show will revamp before next season and come back strong. But, who am I kidding? If The CW is getting the ratings it is looking for now from this junk of a show, then why would they change the formula? Here I go again, the forever optimist.

Well, at least the next episode will have Arrow and The Huntress making out after kicking some ass. Because, there is nothing that makes two broken spirits more hot than breaking some balls and spines in the underbelly of Starling City. I bet this next episode will bring Stephen Amell’s ‘shirt to no shirt ratio’ up dramatically for the ‘no shirt’ side. You know, because he isn’t shirtless enough per episode or anything…

I bet you can't tell they're trying to bring in the female demographic, can you?

I bet you can’t tell they’re trying to bring in the female demographic, can you?

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