I Can’t Write “Batman”

I’m aware the title may be a strange sentiment, especially considering Scott Snyder is presently writing the best-seller DC Comics title. Frankly, he’s doing a damn good job of it, and Dan DiDio or Geoff Johns definitely aren’t going to throw him over for a no-name aspiring writer from West Virginia who has only been reading comics full-time for a year now and has never even written a comic script.

So, I suppose for practical reasons, I really can’t write “Batman.” But, here’s the thing…

I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t want to.

Follow me here. Every nerd has his/her favorite comic and characters. We all have those that we love. Some of the characters that we gush over at LUN HQ include Swamp Thing, Judge Dredd, Daryl Dixon (I know he’s not from the comic, but deal with it), RoboCop (he had a few comic spinoffs of the movies, trust me), Scarlett Witch, and Catwoman. Of course, it almost goes without saying that Batman is near the top of everyone’s list here in the office.

You should hear some of the ideas flying around. Typical fanboy stuff, usually: a lot of “what ifs” going in all directions. I really think only one or two have any traction, and they aren’t my ideas to talk about, so I won’t get into them here. Suffice to say, anytime I sit down and think what I’d like to see in a Batman story, it always falls short of any you can catch in the decades of established storylines.

Long story short, I can’t offer Batman anything new. I can’t even begin to breath any sort of life into the character that hasn’t been breathed better by other writers over the years, men so great that I almost feel bad for bringing them and me up in the same sentence, so I’ll refrain from doing just that.

It’s like many of the greats have said. No sense in sticking with a title while you are spinning wheels. If you have told all the stories you can tell, pass the torch. And in this case, it’s as simple as I’ve told all the stories I can tell without lifting a finger.

Now, I do have some good ideas for a Swamp Thing film, but whether or not that happens to pan out, only time will tell. I’m sure if I shook my Magic 8-Ball, I wouldn’t like the snarky response I’d get.

It’s really as simple as this: I love Batman, I love DC is doing with Batman, and I’m in no position to tell better stories. Frankly, Batman is so much more far reaching than anything I would want to mess with. It’s almost something I can’t put into words. I guess if I was Bob Kane and/or Bill Finger, I wouldn’t be concerned about it. I could just say things like, “I made him, damn it! I’ll do what I want with him!” I guess it extends from the refusal to defend any of my creative decisions.

I’m sure some of you are wondering why I’m writing this right now. Fact is, I’m not sure. I really felt it was something I needed to say, and it really turned into this weird, rambling mess. Either way, like it or not, it is what it is, and my decision to write this stands. This post stands. My thoughts and feelings on the matter stand.

So, no. You’re favorite only Comic Book Nerd in the LUN offices won’t be sending any Batman scripts to DC any time soon. Seriously. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have my own things in the works…


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