True Blood…No Longer Just Sucking Blood

Sorry for the delay in posting, but given what I had to watch, I don’t think the worst crime here is that I’m a few days late in writing up my reaction.

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I thought I could do it. I really did. I was going to blog about True Blood every week, but after the season premiere, I’m not sure I have it in me. Disclaimer: if you haven’t seen True Blood, all of what follows will still probably make as much sense to you as it does to me, a viewer who’s seen every episode.

Don’t get me wrong; when my sister first turned me on to True Blood, I watched the first season in under a week, and watched every episode live after that. I even bought the box set of the first seven books (I read a book after each season, because I felt I’d be too bored if I read the book before the season it was based off of aired). But, season 5 just lost me. I was so bored, I could only “watch” an episode if I wasn’t looking directly at the screen. I mostly listened. I watched the season premiere for the sole purpose of sharing my thoughts with other nerds, and to seek out those who also were Fanger lovers, and who have now given up all hope. Warning: spoilers ensue.

First of all, why is Tara still alive? She barely exists in the books (which I think is hugely important to note, as Sookie’s lack of female friends makes her obsession with Bill actually believable/palatable). I think her storylines have been very dead-end for the past three seasons, and I think if anyone who’s now really dead (as opposed to undead) should’ve lived, it should’ve been Jesus.

To start: shapeshfiter lady eats it. Who cares? Not me. Or her daughter, who later in the episode tells Lafayette: “My mommy’s dead. I’m hungry.” That about sums it up. And I’m not interested in seeing Sam as a dad. He used to be my favorite character, but then, in trying to make him more complex, the show turned him into a poor villain for awhile. I don’t even remember the specifics. Maybe he killed his brother? Yawn.

Then, Bill is just parading around naked for the beginning portion of the episode, which sounds great, but he looks like one of those models from the Bodies exhibit. And…he flies. I’m embarrassed I even had to write that.

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Then, all the women are crying and having heart to hearts: Eric and Pam, Eric and his sister, Pam and Tara, Sookie and Jessica, Andy and Arlene…the characters in each scene changed, but the poorly written dialogue stayed the same. What happened to the well-written exchanges, like the ones between Jessica and Jason (I’m thinking last season…those exchanges, lust-tinted eyeballing aside, were the one highlight of the previous season).

Some internal monologue while watching: Oh, great, now Jason’s on a vendetta against vampires because one killed his parents. Oh, and he’s still wearing his shirt. 20 minutes in, I’m fighting sleep. Oh, but hey, Alcid took his shirt off…for 15 seconds. I almost blinked and missed it.

I’m also already annoyed by the Andy/multiple babies storyline, but I suppose it’s better than a ghost possessing one baby. That storyline was creepy, until it got unbelievably silly.

I could write on (I was tempted to almost live blog this as I watched…even though I am late), but I’ll save some of my criticism for the coming weeks.

I’m not sure when True Blood started taking itself so seriously, but I think that’s when things started going off the tracks.

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4 thoughts on “True Blood…No Longer Just Sucking Blood

  1. To be honest, I gave up after the third season. I refuse to give my time to a show that’s going down hill.

    So, they Jessica and Jason hooked up? Pisses me off. I liked her with Hoyt.

    • I’m with you, @B. Patterson. Jessica and Hoyt were really cute together. I should have stopped watching after season 3, but for some reason, I couldn’t. I think I was holding out hope that it would improve drastically. Now, I’m watching to blog, but it’s a labor of nerd love.

      • It’s cool. There was a show a few years ago called Heroes and I was dedicated to watching it. But sometimes it felt like pouring lemon juice in my eyes. I didn’t think a show with such potential could be so bad. But it was…

  2. Heroes, ohmygosssshhhhh. I was obsessed with the first season. “I didn’t recognize you without your scar.” Seriously, goosebumps! But I actually did give up after season 2 on that; it was just too painful, given how amazing it had been. But first season…man oh man, it was brilliant.

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