True Blood: Two Weeks

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I know what you guys are thinking, that I let True Blood get the best of me. But, you’re wrong! I haven’t stopped watching, more’s the pity: I’ve just had a very busy couple of weeks, so True Blood really did have to take a back seat. This post covers the last two episodes, “At Last,” which aired on July 7th, and “F**k the Pain Away,” which aired on July 14th. So, if you’re as behind as I am, here’s what you missed. [SPOILERS ENSUE.]

Sookie’s new love interest is actually the bad vampire that they’ve been looking for. I wrote that sentence before I even saw the reveal. Here’s my surprised face:

lafayette

Bill can command Warlow. Somewhat more surprising.

There’s a scene of Sookie looking at herself in the mirror wearing only her underwear. Why? I don’t know.

She puts drops of silver on Warlow’s food, as if that’ll do any good. She also doesn’t have a plate of food to eat when she invites him to dinner, which, in my opinion, is a dead giveaway of intent to kill someone by poisoning his food. She then confronts Warlow in her underwear. She learns that it was her parents who were trying to kill her, and not Warlow. That’s pretty awful.

We are finally seeing more of Terry and Arlene, but not their kids. I think Andy’s fairy babies ate them. The nameless fairy girls hit puberty, which brings them boobs, a bad attitude, and an inexplicable ability to drive a car without going through driver’s ed.

Bill is harvesting Andy’s fairy babies’ blood to save the vampire race. Until Jessica kills three of them. Andy swears revenge.

Eric made a girl into a vampire, and that was actually a decent scene. Eric was both vulnerable and hot. And shirtless. Though the girl’s an idiot, and apparently had no idea that Eric was using her. Way to represent the ladies, dumb butt. And, seriously, who wears long white nighties to bed?

Eric and Willa

Sam and the investigator girl with big hair hooked up. Guess he’s not too sad about shapeshifter lady. Though, to be fair, neither is her daughter.

We saw the triumphant return of Jason’s butt to our television screens.

Pam’s in therapy in the vampire torture camp. She lucked out on that one.

Warlow’s been in love with Sookie since she was born, and Sookie loves him. Well, that was underdeveloped. Sookie’s dad takes over Lafayette’s body, and tries to kill Sookie again. Yawn.

Eric and Pam have to face off in the torture camp. And that’s where the episode ends for them. This makes me sad.

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And that’s what you missed! Hope y’all enjoy tonight’s episode.

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